What's with single women and their dogs???

It was funny because not too long ago, I was having small talk with a guy who said to me...

"Why does every single black woman I meet have a dog?"

I kind of chuckled at his question but then I realize he was asking it out of seriousness, like he felt some kind of way about this truth that is increasingly prevalent amongst us single ladies.

Yes, I have a dog and her name is Rosie. She's a cute, fiesty little thing, just shy of 4lbs. I got her when she was 6 weeks old right when I was finishing up my graduate work and moving to the A. Most know that I love her dearly and while she is sometimes inconveniently spoiled, I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Now when this guy asked this rhetorical question and the way in which he did, I initially felt like I received some sort of a penalty dating point me... I'm thinking, "SP got all this fabulousness and he can't seem to get pass the fact that I have a dog???" I was taken aback but then this wasn't the first time this was a source of contention for men pursuers in my world.

How did I respond??? Well, I simply said...

Some of us single ladies have dogs, but no matter how strong and independent I may be, at the end of the day I desire companionship--- consistent companionship, loving companionship. And while this isn't difficult for a dog, I have come to find that the male species have failed plenty of times to offer me the same (Mmm hmm I said it). Do you really think you can mosey on in here and say something about my dog and the only thing you have given me is a coke and a smile??? Get outta here, sucka! :0

Now let's be clear about something... Don't confuse SP with the crazy dog lady (we all know one) whose life is completely devoted to her puppy dogs and would prefer them over a lovely evening with a man. I was amazed at the number of 40ish year old single women at Rosie's play dates that were acting a little "extra" with their dogs... "Your dog has a high chair???" Yeah, I can't co-sign on this behavior and I need to go ahead and revoke my membership. lol

But in case you're still wondering what's with single women and their dogs??? Get a clue, take a lesson, buy a book, read a letter... For the majority of us single ladies with a dog, we simply just enjoy having one. Period. And if any man knows about a woman's spirit, it's in our nature to nurture (fur babies, our own babies, and yes, a deserving man too) until the job is done. I think if a man is smart enough, he would be able to see how valuable an asset this is in a woman and it is to him. But maybe you just don't have a clue. --SP

SP Can Play That Game!

So this past week, I have been having a conversation with one of my girlfriends and she told me she recently was given some motherly advice... Because she was having some difficulty with the man she was dating, she was advised to implement the "21-day pause".

Not to get into the details of what the "21-day pause" necessitates (that would be a blog in and of itself), we both were chuckling at the idea that her mom had some dating games from circa 1969 that she guaranteed would get the results we wanted. "The 21-day pause is timeless!"

Well, I immediately bit onto the idea. I felt like with her mother's prescription, we were unearthing an oldie but goodie fad, like the Dick Gregory Bahamian diet... I thought this could work like a charm.

I said, "We should do it". In my mind it was for no other reason than to test out her mother's theory to see if this dating woe technique could reap the benefits, to see if my girlfriend would really bite my bait, AND… to see if I could get a good blog out of it... Needless to say, my girl was too smart for all my foolishness. :P

But my girlfriend and I have had countless conversations about this and have constantly debated… Why all the game playing?

Now, you probably figured out what side of the fence I was on based on my enthusiastic response to "the pause". But it even makes me cringe a little to even write the words "game playing" because it conjures up such bad connotations and I feel like you (the reader) will turn on me and won't read anymore of this blog...

But read me out here... :) My girlfriend thinks all the game playing is completely unnecessary and I agree with her and after contemplating our many conversations, I believe this is my take... If the "game playing" is authentic then in essence... it isn't game playing. See, being "hard to get" because indeed you are "hard to get" due to living the life you want, choosing the interactions you want, and selecting the suitors you want to be with, then it is no longer a game. It's real. Implementing the "21-day pause" if you will, by articulating what is given is not what is needed is demonstrating that you truly believe in your own happiness and your ability to get what you desire in your relationships. I maybe wrong but my thinking is once that him experiences this, he will either shape up... or ship the h$ll on! :P

In my new decade of living, I've learned if I "play" anything, then it becomes only about me getting the pay off (i.e., the relationship, the ring, the marriage)--- I think at this point in my life, I don't want something just to have something and just to say to the world I got something. Rather, let me work on my 30+ life, that's fun, flirty, and fabulous- a life that I can only dream of having but I am working my butt off every day to make it my reality... Yeah, now THAT'S the game I think I can play!--SP